Stirrings….

The body is shaking the yoke of it’s sleepy mind. Blinking eyes see the light and squint at the truth. The harsh landscapes like bad dreams smoldering and devastated solidify in the reality of the day. Waking up is the call to action. Driven by the rooted fibers that pull and stretch to play a sound that shivers the cells…. Our dreams can not save us. Our sinews and bones, breath… beating heart…..The earth calls us from the dream time that we have binged on for so long it hurts to feel our blood flow.

To Find the Heart that Lives Voraciously

It’s looking like we are going back in to a form of lock down again. Those tiny microscopic viruses are playing a long game. I just checked the latest map. Not good. I am vaccinated and will continue to distance and mask. I can’t help but think this is a about deep cathartic change. Last year we named the shadows of oppression, the violence against people of color, the inequities between classes, the vulnerabilities of essential works and their subpar pay…. We saw the rich get very rich and the poor stuck in a waiting game of bureaucracy and failing infrastructure not meant for the shear volumes of people in need.

This time around with covid feels different. The lines drawn are strangely and not surprising between those who trust science/medicine and those who don’t. There is a measure of religious beliefs and cult like fundamentalism that thinks a man who died violently 2,000 plus years ago will save them from this….. or there are the ones willing to inhale peroxide…. or live in a bubble of this is all a hoax.

We humans have been here before. We get here every time we over populate, start running out of resources/water and drown in our own garbage and sewerage. This is the weird dark side of a successful species. Look around it is us now. It’s bad. There are very clear divisions in ideologies in how to handle this. The virus seems to be winning as we argue freedom over collaboration and cooperation. There is no winner to this end game. Bezo’s magic bus to the edge of space isn’t even a rich person’s ticket out of here.

We are so afraid of not being seen or having relavence that we hang onto our labels and identifying quanitfiers…. as if a name could bring a change or save us from our selves….

The deep mystery… the initiations that transformed the ages of humans as they grew up in the service of their communities all over the world. These are key to understanding the collective evolution that needs to happen. Intiation is about death… Both ceremonially symbolic and being brought to the place where we thinking we are going to die. This is the death of who we think we are. We walk through a threshold that delineates before and after.The change is the fundamental core shaking earthquake that puts your being in the realization that you could die and you have to choose life/living or death…. and you choose to live even if you have no idea what that means. You walk away from everything into nothing… you float without identity… you have no connections… you might hear your voice for the first time….

As a global society we are in this collective movement to find meaning after years of consumerism, addiction, self preservation, polluting resources, denying people rights and dignity….. We are facing climate induced migration and water/food shortages… we are looking at it…. and no amount of money, power, nationalism, gender diversity or keeping things the same will change what is happening.

Every day we get the chance to choose to either live voraciously in the service of creating a kinder better world or dying…

Tiny Things…

Microbes are adaptable. They have over the millions of years that they have been here on this planet learned ways to thrive and hibernate in every ecology and life form. We can wake them up out of a frozen tundra slumber or find them in the gut of a worm. There are more of them then us and they are not impressed with our evolutionary discoveries or interested in our feelings. Microbes want to live. They are the embodiment of life force. They know how to win the survival game. They do it with impunity and the stealth design of their size and shear numbers. Our thumbs are no match for them. Our brains can find ways to evade them through science and medicine… but in the end they are always winning.

I’m not going to get into the weeds of vaccines here. The science has been presented and we know that this variety of Covid-19 is deadly. And like all things that are shocking to the human psyche it has divided us into those familiar camps of “acceptance” and “resistance”. These camps have a spectrum of responses, beliefs and even violence. Which in the end aids the microbes to find the weak points to thrive. The microbes unify, develope genetcally strategies and shape-shifting to plunder our species…. and we argue the virtues of humanities higher achievements and the men and women who have devoted their lives to probe deep into what, where and how of these tiny creatures.

We divide and take sides and act like its a soccer game. With all the fundamental nationalism and pride rolled into fever fanatic mob violence. One side will win. One side is the better…. the tribalism of finding a like minded group that embodies the same fears, anger and ideas. Then echo it out over and over like gospel. When in reality if we use ball to represent the virus, it doesn’t give a crap about who is kicking it. It’s design and shape moves it across the field. It plays in the stadium of life. It remains the same but occasionally gets an upgrade in materials to perform better. The games rules remain the same mostly. The players come and go the fans shift sides and teams in response to their personal need for meaning and relevance. The ball remains the constant while changing every thing around it.

That is the brilliance of their evolutionary intelligence….

Being Seen…..

There is a documentary about Anthony Bourdain that is making the rounds. There seems to be some kind of cult with him and his life. He somehow rose up to be part of the gurus of culture and culinary expertise. His nomadic “parts unknown” fueled the imagination and cult of travel as a way of life. Designing a new kind of man born out of addiction and self reflection/absorbed/deeply lost…. privilege. Another white guy showing us the riches of other places, people, cultures. Framed by the camera to show just enough of the exotic to make it desirable. To stir a romantic longing in each of us.

The faux reality of his TV personality filled homes while the dust of his true being gather together in piles that no one saw. Vulnerable to the whims of networks, ratings and creating more and more content to satisfy the voyeuristic perverse cult of his created self… in the end he could not make the dust of his behind the scenes come to life as pixels do on a flat screen.

The virtual world is a hollow vessel. The mechanism of social media has robbed many of dignity. Many beg to be noticed.. To belong. Yet, this insatiable world of capitalism and branding is computed by the algorithms of trends, hashtags, and being seen…. relevant. Selling your data to have access…. discounts…. The odd friendships of “likes” and “following”…. some people we knew long before this screen world others are part of that weird way we are degrees apart… networked into webs of connections. Your virtual visibility becomes more important than your content… the real you is a ghost the the machine….

To make a living in this is a complicated art and science. Some are selling an angle to get ahead…. others sexualing their content…. then there is just straight lies and misinformation. The algorithms tally and out comes the percentage of visibility…. or you just pay up to get more visibility. We are more connected than ever and yet we feel so far a part. So unseen, felt or heard….

The star dust of our being is burning out behind the screen. Our pixelation is not the measure of our humanity. We are not being seen.

Find Words….

My mind has been dry in the word department. I think it is about the elusive pursuit of an idea. Finding grace in this moment we find ourselves in. It seems we are standing on the shifting tides and sands of the who, what and why of us. Nothing seems certain and we are plagued by a virus of identity as well as a real virus that haunts our inadequate response to it.

I don’t think there is any place or people who is not affected by this. Some have the economic insulation that keeps them in the playgrounds near the edge of space and some are fighting just to breathe the next breath. The planet is simultaneous burning and downing… It could be a “Revelation” of sorts…. a carnival of tragic consequences created by the comic errors of ignorance and the greed of certain people. The best of and worst of times….. A tale we weave each day to create hopefully a meaningful existense without the intuitions and rhymes from the cacophony that drove our days before Covid.

There are no Knights to save us… The Priests are silent….. The politicians trip over themselves to posture positions and policies. This world is changing faster than our minds. The bigger cycles of time are rotating. Our once strong veneer of of power is in the entropy of cracking and pitting. It can not for long hold it’s shape and forms….. collapse is coming…. migration is coming….

Some of it we will not change. Evolutionary success is in adaptations. Ask the horseshoe crab…. they know….

As intense and difficult the challenges we face are there is hope. We probably won’t know the outcome or the storyline too far ahead…. nor the plot twists for power or divergence. Life has a tenacity to live. It finds a way. We need to tap into that and awaken the sleeping soul with in us. It’s not a religion. It’s not a Political ideology.

It is our humanity.

Spring Reminds Us of the Eternal Sun…

It is a fool’s day. The first day of April is met with freezing temperatures and snow. Yesterday the purple crocuses sang and stretched towards the sun. We live in times of change and the Earth mocks us for wanting a stable, predictable set of seasons…. Spring will come. It always does and with it the renewed passion to be in the world.

My move is almost complete. I am very happy to have the space to create a new chapter in my life and work. So much to process into art and beautiful things. I’m also looking forward to teaching small groups (2 to 6 ) people in the studio once it is set up. There will be drums, rattles, books and more to be made. Methods and ways to be shared. I am very excited to have this unfold.

A commonplace book…..

I will also be offering The Refurb Cafe & Fix It once a month once the weather is warmer. This is born out of my desire to create a less disposable world and to empower people to fix things. This will be a day long gathering with herbal tea and you get stuff fixed or figure out a way to upcycle into something new. Bring that lamp that needs wiring or that really cool thingie that needs something…scissors or knives that need sharpening…. etc…. There will be a donation jar or other ways to support it. More info to come as things are come together this Spring.

Happy Spring 😊

Life’s Rich Demand…..

I haven’t  written  in a while. The trauma of the last few weeks after the election have had me glued to the bizzare and terrifying unfolding of the last unhinged push by this administration to keep power. My heart ways heavy with the 400,000 dead and the still climbing numbers of covid infections. The economic tragidies and all the battering that has befallen this country. To clean up after a mad man is going to consume the next few yeas of this country. Many of us took to the streets to support Black Lives and fought a war with our keyboards and facts takng the lances and arrows of critisism form strangers and those we thought we knew. Hate seeped into our lives and stained the carpets with its reminder that tolerance is not a cure. It only bought time for them to reload and come back with better amunition.

The divides in this country are big…. which means our ideas and visions for the future must be bigger. It is so much more than just needing to regain the ground lost, we must push so far forward as to catch up with the rest of the world. This country’s derailed binge of ego dopamine laced power struggle needs to sit in the detox. Our egos and pride will not get us out of this. What we know will not necessarily give us the correct ideas or motivation…. we need to find a spiritual awakening of sorts…. not religous…. spirtitual. The inner work that heals the pain and cultivates our humanity.

Coming out of a binge is hard. The physical, emotional spiritual pain wants the medicine that worked in the past. It is so easy to slip back into what we know than face the unknown…. But that is where it begins….. that first step thing…. that thousand mile journey thing begins somewhere….

All these things are part of my current awareness. I think about how I want to participate in the next cycle of change. I look at my skill set to see how I can utilize what I know and can do to support, design and create the future. Also, listen to what is needed. Witness. Stand together.

I look forward to the new administration coming in. I have faith in their competence and will do what I can to make it successful.

The Year End Message….

“I think we can all say the 2020 was a year for finding clarity in our lives…….”

A lot can happen in 365 days. Each day can seem like it’s own universe of time and space. Infinite in possiblites and endless in all the ways things can go wrong. Awe inspiring and soul crushing. This year has offered it all in blazing colors. My year started as a Traveling Shaman making my way a cross the country. I saw friends, taught workshops and gave lectures, offered prayers in some of the most beautful of places and I experienced the shifting tides of the political/economic climate of this country.

When I left California in February after driving down route 1 watching a pod of 8 whales meander south along with me… I knew things were going to change. I had no real idea how, what or why…. but I knew…..

As this year ends I am living in Littleton New Hampshire. Not a place on my radar for settling yet the universe provides as long as we show up and do the work. I am looking at the time here to grow my Rooted Therapies practice, expand on a the Terra Mater Sphere Designs for better health and living, and to work in the studio and create from the experences of my travels.

I have so much graditude for all the people who have anchored and supported me during this year. ( I will hopefully get everyone’s name/community here. If not you are in my heart and part of this love/graditude … This year has been like electro shock therapy with the resulting memory loss… I will do my best….) Perrin, Gina, Cindy, Kelly, Margaret, Rene, Ruthie, Anne, Phil, Nan, Alissa, Madalena, Tasha, Jody, Glee, Harold, Laura, Triple Spiral community of Nyack NY, India, Isaac, Josh, Carolyn, Janet, The dowsing communities across the country, the ORI folks, the RED Earth Community in Colorado, Rebecca, Sarah, Susan, Tom, my Patreons, All those who have commissioned and purshased items through my Adhizen Etsy Shop, The numerous and amazing people who offered kindeness during my travels…. Mary, Josephina, Alison, Ann, Astrid…. Marie, Lincoln, Tim, and everyone else.

There is so much to do as this year ends and we look to fight and create the world we want after Covid and Trump. If our isloation has served anything it is hopefully to recognize our need to work as a diverse community together to find resolutions to the issues we face in the enviornment, ecomony, health and welfare of each other and the planet.

I wish you all a Blessed holiday season, health and abundance into the New Year.

Imagine….

40 years ago today John Lennon was assasinated. I was an awkward 16 year old sophmore going to an Arts high school in New Haven Connecticut. Raised on the music of the Beatles. My Family had both the the blue and red anthology albums. My peers and I all knew the lyrics to John Lennon”s song Imagine. It is a beautiful song with a beautiful idea…. Who wouldn’t want peace and love… no more war… but like the title “Imagine” it was just that in our minds…. a dream. A puff of smoke for some.

My generation and I were the by-product progeny of the 60’s counter culture more or less. We were bridging the gap…. looking to find our way… break things…. discover things… rebell and show we had ideas… and good ones… And Lennon’s music was part of our sound track. We were respectful of his mastery. We were told he was brilliant. He was an icon. A celebrity. Some how a magical profit of words and music. Like the lyrics to Instant Karma “We all shine on, Like the moon, the stars and the Sun….” It’s gonna get you…. It got him. The fragile idenity of who you are and what others think of you…. the dance of power and fame…. One man’s bullet…. and suddenly the mystic was gone…. the prophet gone…. the space he left behind became an abyss of folklore and history. He became mythic and messiah…. larger than life…. a God…. not a man… idealized….

Lennon voice when he sings Norweigan Wood has always stuck to me. That simple song. I can’t help thinking the melody was co-opted from some old folk song. Timeless it hangs in the radiowaves that pass through time and space. An ear worm I sometimes have to find distraction from…. ” I once had a girl or should I say she once had me….” …..” she asked me to stay and told me to sit any where. I looked around and noticed there wasn’t a chair…” My understanding of the lyrics have changed as I have grown. It is part of what I would call my archtypal music. Something to sing at a fire under the moon or while driving to fend off the road ghosts.

In 40 years it didn’t get better. There are more bullets and guns. Their is more war and hatred. The planet struggles to keep up with us. The poor get poorer and the rages of a plague that has taken so many. Money and media have produced Gods of power and celebrity. Leaving so many to imagine a world they might not every be part of.

I do not want to imagine. I want to live, collaborate, cooperate, create, build, take action and be part of a world that cares about itself and the relationship it has to its health and well being…. for all beings. Mr. Lennon you gave us the vision and we gave you (the man) all the power. With that we look to your ghost for the answers instead of inside us. In 4 decades you became a symbol that embodies so much about what we want and yet you are an empty icon that we admire and some worship to our detriment. Just like that Jesus fellow…. We just do not get it and that is why we are here now.

The Grace of 2020

The sky held it’s blue

Still…. as the winds and clouds brushed along the the edges of the terrain. Waves rolled in rhymes to meet the sand as plovers rushed along looking for tiny crustaceans. Gulls floated effortlessly in the clumsy way they catch the winds.

The Sun rose each day marking the journey of cosmic time each day a little longer and warmer to stir the seeds of sleeping harvests. Icy rain slid down the trunks of trees as night filled with the calls of Owls. The restlessness. Each day’s light lingered to meet the moon as she made her way up from the horizon….

The bees drunk on pollen sleep in squash blossoms while trees full of leaves sway with the breeze. Storm clouds rise with the humidity of the day. While the smooth waters part as ducks swim into the grasses. Hawks rest on fence posts. Cars drive past…

The cicadas buzz the canopies and leave their earth armor on the bark of trees. Their last day is made to create new life and die ….they fall and feed the soil. Ants marching into tunnels filled with eggs carrying the remains.

The lichens disolve the stone, to create minerals, that enrich the soil, to feed the trees that hold the birds, that shade the earth, that the stars birth in the cosmos that time and space built.